Hi Lilac, I can understand how it might be confusing. I had my first drink at age 13 and by 18 I was drinking everyday. In December of 2008, at age 33, I hit my "rock bottom." No money, no car, barely a place to live, with a child to raise on my own. With help, I got sober. I didn't drink for the next few days, then weeks, months, years.

At some point, and I forget exact dates, but it was maybe three years later, I relapsed and got drunk. I had maybe half a dozen more relapses over the past 14 years (almost 15 years this December). But I still consider this all my sobriety, or my recovery. Some people may only count from the last drink. If I'm doing that, then it was December 31 2018. It wasn't even a relapse so much as a planned attempt to just prove to myself I was cured and could drink again. Within minutes I was sneaking extra drinks and lying about it.

I can't drink.

I hope that clears it up. I haven't had a drop in almost five years but I still consider the whole project of my sobriety to be 14 years.