This had me cracking up. Love the way you write. You have a new fan!

(Update: whoa, after looking at some of the other comments, i guess I have to clarify: I'm not racist! Lol. My wife lived abroad in India and I've always been fascinated. Obviously it's a complex picture, it's downright catastrophic, and boggling at it [while being hilarious through word choice and cadence etc]) is a perfectly valid human response. There is not one correct response, as much as the culture police would like us to think. Well done.)